This is what happens when I really look at my bills:

“I envy you your ignorance/ I hear that it’s bliss” -Ani DiFranco

Sometimes it feels like things would be better if I just didn’t know.

I did a little bit of financial digging today, just to see where I stood.

Where I stand is in a hole.

Financially, metaphorically, however you want to take it. I guess I’m not there literally, but I might as well be (whine whine).

Disgust is what I feel right now: for an education system that costs so much and leaves graduates to flap in the breeze with a whole lot of education but not a whole lot of ways to put it to use. For a financial system that makes money hand over fist off interest. For myself for borrowing so much money and not thinking about how I would pay it back.

Poor Dwayne from my student loan company. He’s just trying to make a buck, too. He’s just a “Customer Service Representative” (Heaven help all CSRs), but he says my interest rate is all Congress’s fault. Blame the white man in Washington. No, Dwayne. I blame you. I blame your stupid name–are you sure it’s not DuWayne? I blame your inability to solve my problem. I blame you and your only solution: “We can raise your monthly rate.”

No. I am in debt. I don’t want to pay MORE money; I want to pay less money. Don’t give me this no-solution crap. Fix the educational system, while you’re at it. Make it so that kids aren’t hungry at home, and they eat more than the free breakfast and lunch at school. Make it so parents care about their kids. Make it so there aren’t any predatory colleges siphoning money off of unsuspecting adults just trying to better their lives.

I blame you Dwayne. Get it together. Or at least call that “Congress” of which you speak. They must be hiding somewhere behind you, looking like Thomas Jefferson and Andrew Jackson in wigs and tails, snickering behind their hands, “Ha ha! Another interest rate fixed at an historically high rate! We’ve got her! Poverty forever!”

Next time, I’ll just pay my bill. Sorry for the rant.

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