Decision letters, open windows

When I logged on today, I was stunned to see that I hadn’t posted since May 2. What? It has been over a month and a half since I last checked in, and that feels like forever now. So much has changed in my life, and yet it feels like so much has stayed the same.

First of all, I finally received word back from all of the schools I applied to. It took seven months to hear from the final one. I will not be going to graduate school in the fall, which is somewhat of a letdown and a relief at the same time. I feel like I put so much into those applications, and I also asked so much of other people, that to not get into a school feels like a failure. On the other hand, not getting into a program that will cost me the next four years of my life, several thousand dollars, and relocating to another city to boot is kind of a relief. I’m free to do so many things here in Nashville, a town I love.

I’m currently teaching in a summer program with some fantastic teachers who also happen to be my friends. While it pains me to hear about the problems going on in the public school systems, I can’t help but breathe a private sigh of relief that that is no longer my life.

I am not sure what job awaits me when this program is finished, but I know that there’s something out there. I want to be excited about work again! I want to be creative again, and have the leeway to use my critical thinking skills to solve problems.

I heard the door closing behind me, and now I feel the breeze coming from the open window. Anyone hiring?

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